owaahh Author

A man, a pen, a keyboard I mean, bananas, and mugs of coffee. This is a labour of love.

Four Mobile Cons Made In Kenya: and How to Beat them

When the eldest of my sisters decided to move out at 23, she was exhilarated. She was going to move to a house in Eastleigh (Back then, pirate cash had not quadrupled its population), or more correctly, a room. She had found the house on an ad in the papers, and when she left to …

Kahawa Wendani and the Random Walk

Dusty. Tired, hungry and in the dark. That is Kahawa Wendani and I right now. Since my bachelor pad is less than a minutes walk from Thika Road, I tend to exist without really exploring my neighborhood but today, the universe conspired against me. Bogged down with writing contracts, deadlines and no inspiration at all, …

I killed Myself Today

I stood at the cliff and looked at the setting sun. I hurled myself to the hull and let the wind guide my flight. I drove off the cliff with everything I had. I stood at the brink of life and death, and held mine in my hands. I drove the dagger of pain through …

Movie Review-Paul the Alien

If you have not watched this movie yet, you should look for a cliff and throw yourself off of it, or hit your head on the wall until you do. Considering that Hollywood releases thousands of movies a year, and by the time they get to Kenya, they are in their tens of thousands because …

Guide 101 to Mating Rabbits

There’s a new craze in town, bunnies! Chatting about a business venture with a friend of mine the other day, he happened to mention that he is in the process of setting hatches and getting into the rabbit business (no, no, not the Hugh Heffner kind, the more furry, less Blondie, more animal-like kind). Rumor …

God Hates Us All

Small, innocent, dirty, naked boys, oblivious of civilization, with little care in the world except to live to see tomorrow. Where does one go when there is nowhere to run, when there is no one to run to anymore? Where does one go where prayer does not work, politics are rotten, and capitalism is a …

Guy’s Washrooms: The Dossier.

Ladies,u might want to wear goggles for this one! Lets take a hypothetical situation; So am in a club(the 1 place every1 is bound to use the washrooms?),the inevitable call of liquid nature beckons,so i walk 2 the gents,calmly,the unmistakeable urinal glares @ me when i stroll in.Two other guys are already there,so i take …

Epilogue

His body lay on the border crossing like someone felt he had to die in two countries. His chest had been ripped apart, you could tell that the vultures had long found his body but something had stopped them before they could finish devour their find. The maggots, a few hours old, poking out of …

The Perfect Crime

Al Capone was the perfect criminal, and am beginning to think that our very own John Harun Mwau is. This are the kingpins of crime who everyone recognizes but no one can pin down with evidence. Al Capone was only convicted for evasion of tax despite the fact that he had committed possibly every crime …