The Perfect Crime

Written by | Musings, Quick Reads

Al Capone was the perfect criminal, and am beginning to think that our very own John Harun Mwau is. This are the kingpins of crime who everyone recognizes but no one can pin down with evidence. Al Capone was only convicted for evasion of tax despite the fact that he had committed possibly every crime there was to commit, except suicide. He dealt in cash, never got his hands muddied and bribed everyone.Does the perfect crime exist? The problem with most criminals is despite careful planning, most of them never plan to be caught. Many have tried to commit the so-called perfect crime, and nearly succeeded.

With the Samuel Wanjiru case, however, a new dynamic plays into the Kenyan crime scene. First, the notion that any death is an open-and-shut case has always been misguided. The KGB, famous for their ingenuity in conspiracy and murder where the CIA lacked in execution, still hold the records for some of the most seemingly normal deaths. The Mossad is too messy, but they have revolutionized the game in the sense that it is not swag to commit crime for country and hide now. [In 1978, Bulgarian dissident and playwright Georgi Markov was leaving the BBC London office where he worked and heading home. Waiting at a crowded bus stop, Markov felt a sudden sharp pain in his thigh and turned to see a large man bending down to pick up a black umbrella. The man apologized in a thick foreign accent and hopped into a taxi. Markov found a growing red pimple where he had felt the sting, and came down with a fever that night. Four days later, he was dead, the victim of one of the most diabolical assassinations in modern history — the Umbrella Incident.]

Any investigator will tell you that the hardest criminal to catch is the one who leaves evidence deliberately. To the forensic scientist, there is nothing harder to decipher than the mind of the person after the crime. If the body has been bludgeoned many time, then it is easy to reckon that the murderer was either angry or scared. The problem comes if all you find is strategically placed evidence. The MOSSAD are the geniuses at this, remember the 2010 murder of Mahmoud al-Mabhouh in Dubai? An 11 man team worked out a crime so elaborate it is intriguing. Modern day forensic science means that it is hard to not get caught, people like me spend an entire class being lectured on the thinking of a criminal and the possible mistakes to look out for. Most people who have tried to commit the perfect crime have tried too hard to wash away the evidence. It is the same disease the Spartans suffered from, and the same thing that makes a tiger that is scouting prey the easiest to shoot down. Focusing on a target, that is to not get caught, makes you the ideal criminal.

It requires no BAU or NCIS to develop a profile, even a Mrs. Wigwe [no offence, but her story stinks!] can make one. The concept is simple and straightforward, a crime scene with no evidence is not a perfect crime, sometimes the absence of something makes that very thing the more louder.

The point is, there is no perfect crime. Perhaps the only the one that you don’t commit, but then again, what would we do with all this cops if crime did not exist?

Last modified: February 3, 2020

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