Hands of Steel, and the Ass that was not of Steel.

Written by | Musings

Am I the only seeing it?

The height of human self-destruction that is rampaging our globe??It is not new, whether you believe you descended from an ape or from people who got punked by a snake (either way, animals did you), our common destiny seems to be self-destruction.

We have not descended from the strongest, they died in Noahs flood, the thousands of wars, colonialism, from poaching (as in evolution) and from the executions and castrations. “We have descended from the cowards of history, which is a good thing, because we are here now”

Anyway, a man jumped from my floor a few days ago. Not a big deal, right? Only, I live on the second floor

I was not there when it happened, but the blood and broken glass in the morning, and my extensive knowledge of forensics, derived more from watching Horatio than from my Forensic Evidence lecturer, told the story (as did my neighbors).

The man in this case, was visiting the apartment directly opposite mine. Now, we all know that Allah does not allow his believers to booze, but those who dont, get high in other ways (because getting high is very important for human survival). So, the boys were consuming whatever it is they were consuming (which I claim no explicit knowledge of, but I can hazard a guess) when they started fighting and our main protagonist was kicked out. In a fit of rage, he realized that he has hands of steel, and did this.

Poor Glass, broken, dejected….

You can see it, right, the broken glass, and the way he broke the side ones first before he gave the middle one a climaxing thump. Hands of Steel, thats what I call him. But I digress.hands of Steel did this. (again, no comment about my morbid interest).

Trail of Destruction, or a really messy painter.

The blood spatter tells you that the glass was bleeding profusely while our main protagonist was punching away. It bled to its cracks, so much so that he pitied it and walked away. Oh, wait, thats not what happened, our main protagonist was restrained by the guards because they sympathized with the glass, and as my friends would say zilikuwa zimemuonyesha (directly translated: “They had shown him”).

see it now, the bleeding glass?

They dragged him a few feet away, as the blood trail tells the story (the bleeding glass must have been following him, begging for mercy). In the scuffle that ensued, he decided that the only way to get away from the two burly guards was what any human being would do. Even I see the sense in it, the only way to get away because the guards in the house where you have just broken the glass is to jump..from the second floor.

He did, or as my other neighbor hypothesizes, was pushed, off the balcony. Then he held one hand in front and his magical flying underwear appeared, it was Clark Kent no more. Urrmmmm, okay, thats not what happened. He jumped, and suddenly an eagle came from up and above and whisked him to, well, elsewhere?

Okay fine, he just kept going..down

The hanging lines broke his fall and probably saved his sorry life.oh, and he broke them too.

They changed the direction of his fall so that instead of falling from the second floor headfirst, he technically fell from the first floornot so bad huh, onlyass first! Not so superman now huh? He fell on his ass, so you can imagine the thud, and the scream, wait, wail, after that..and he died, and he is now reading this from the Judgment Room in heaven (there are computers there, if the Hague trial chamber is anything to go by).?

Being high could not have helped because Im sure that while he was hurting hanging lines on his way down, reality set in. Its like that epiphany when you are DUI-ng and you see those headlights headed towards you.?You can imagine the pain, the shot, and gush of pain from landing on your ass.?

Anyway, he lives. With a broken leg, probably crushed balls and a system that might never accept to get high again.?

Owaahh, 2011.

Last modified: May 9, 2016

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