I have three pet peeves that affect my writing: location, long nails, and bad internet. Continue reading…
Category Archives: Inspiration Hunts
[This piece was originally published on the Medium Blog here.]
I hadn’t planned to spend my entire afternoon like this. At least not at first. I was in town, with a few hours to kill and I knew exactly what I wanted to do with them. I always know, but I never get round to doing it. Instead of window shopping or sitting in a cafe trying to figure out whether the man next to me is just fidgety or is busy masturbating. (This happened once, in Java Capital Centre).
I was 15 when I next saw her. I was a young teenager with at least three prominent pimples on his skinny face at any one time. A mass of hormones and confusion. She came to visit on a cold Saturday morning, typical of the month of June in the Kijabe escarpment; a time when the weather seems largely undecided.
Or rather, why do they need to?
If you look at the bottom of the back page of any daily, you will find ‘registered at the GPO as a newspaper’ written in small print. It is really not the kind of question that keeps you up at night but it is one of those that need answers.
Just how bad is Kenyan corruption that Mugabe felt the need to convince his cronies not to sink to the lows of Kenya and Nigeria? That question has been lingering in our minds for a while now, driven in part by our ill-informed hubris that our corruption is not as bad as it seems at first. The truth is, its actually worse.
History pundits, knowledge junkies, archaeology enthusiasts, everyone! Get your knickers in a knot already! Christmas is here, early! The National Museums of Kenya wants you to enjoy the facilities under its care for free this Friday. Continue reading…
The truth is, the scream escaped from me the way a fart escaped when I was slapped by the deputy head teacher in high school. One minute I was ruler of my voice box but the next I was screaming like a scared little girl.
Nobody I know has ever seen cats fuck. Once, as a child, I thought I saw our pet cat at it with a stray but it ‘all happened so fast’ I am unsure whether it wasn’t a product of my at times hyperactive imagination. It seems a phenomenon only known to nature and the participating felines.
If you have 1.3 billion shillings and an interest in the hospitality industry, you can buy prime undeveloped land in the heart of a marine national park, a national reserve listed as a protected site. A Mr. Alessandro Torriani placed an ad offering 53.00 Acres of undeveloped prime land in the Kisite-Mpunguti Marine National Park for Kshs. 1.38 billion ($16, 000, 000).
“Dawa ya Mende! Ya Panya! Ya Mende! Ya Panya! Cockroach Murderer! Cockroach Killer! Ya Mende! Ya Panya! Ua Mende! Ua Panya!” the man standing outside Muthurwa market screams all day. Unlike his colleagues in the business who have acquire a small public address system and then recorded themselves so they can just stand there as the pitch loops all day long, he likes to play it old school. Continue reading…
To the creative writer, there is something morbidly inspiring about morgues and barstools. Morgues because dead men tell no tales, as the saying goes, and the man looking for inspiration wants to tell tales. Barstools because, well, just barstools.