10 Non-Sexual reasons to carry Condoms

1.Remember the TRUST advert of yesteryears whea a guy uses his rubber to ‘dress’ a ladies umbrella?as the whole town watches??

2.A condom’s waterproof-ness is somethng that s very under-utilised.Figure,that day when you don’t have a shower cap and it rains??would(ideally)work wonderfully.

3.Ever noticed how of late young men have what seem like OBESE wallets?Do not be cheated by the budge ladies,a few condoms in a wallet always does the trick(sorry guys,had 2 tell em that,they’ld have found out anyway)
4.Imagine u woke up in a dream where you are facing Mike Tyson n he wanted bare knuckles?Because condoms are meant ‘to be there whle nt bng thea’f u put them over your fists,you have an unfair(and slippery)advantage,even MT would just slip off,ryt??

5.How many epics have you watched where the hero gets saved by a coin in his breast pocket??or a modern movie where the cop survives a bullet because his badge deflected the bullet??Many,i presume,a piece of rubber could save your life too,hypothetically.Imagine you unsuspectingly sit on a nail,if your wallet has 3 pieces,your bottom would be saved,mayb potential tetanus,n death,linear logic??

6.It reduces the loss if you’re mugged and if you are muggd by the ‘interactive type’,you could spread the gospel of the latex. +it makes a fake wallet more believable.

7.Drunkards sometimes say that they drink to keep the workers in the brewery at work,need i apply the same for the latex??I trust you are sharp enough..

8.(….and this is for the ladies)you know those times when ua bag falls open n u bend,embarrased,to collect your ‘assets’?and then the ever present very hot guy bends to help?imagn the embarrasment when he picks ua stash of sanitary towels??u cn beat that with th wink when he gets 2 collecting your latex(OMG!did i just write a script for a whole scene of a soap opera?ryt before the annoying commercial?)

9.1word;cops!y’all knw th story,when you get arrested and they empty your pockets,and document the contents?can i bet you 100 to 1 that rubber will NEVER appear in the inventory.Where it goes,only the god of cops knows!

10.When i was in Form1,latex had a minor use that always ended up with us(the freshers)having a bad stomåch and quèerly oily lips.You wanna know what??scroll down….

Keep scrolling, the answer is a bit embarrasing...

A bit more down

BALLOONS!!*sad face*Runs to throw up*Curses!*

  • Njeri Macharia

    Nailed the ending!
    Thank the gods for evolution, full words and complete sentences.

  • haha…hilarious…its also an innovative rubber band..both are latex…same function.